So I decided I am going to blog this summer…
It’s no surprise that I consider myself an idealist. People often confuse idealism with childishness or naivete. Truthfully, I was one of those people who would shoot arrows of wry, caustic cynicism at anybody foolish enough to embrace such a mentality. I’d think, what pitiful beings caught in a world of illusion, unaware of the pain and suffering ensuing beyond our borders, numb, drugged with idiocy. But the lesson here is to allow yourself to be able to believe in something despite any dreary outlook. It can be easy to lose yourself in misery.
With that said, the topic of growing up is apparently a popular one since graduation is around the corner. I refuse to accept the notion that I will get “old”, that my dreams will somehow magically fade, and that I will become another disposable part in the giant machine that is America. What an idealist! Let’s play the word association game, shall we? Word: OLD. Words that come to mind: COMPROMISE, CYNICAL, WRINKLY. For some odd reason, I associate aging with settling for less…I mean that’s how the adults in my family have done it, they’ve accepted it, become bitter folk, shit is bad. I’ve just seen far too many stories of people ending up unhappy because they “never realized their potential” or “sacrificed for the sake of the baby” blah blah blah. Someone tell me that I’m just out of my mind right now, and that I’m crazy and immature and whiny and emotional about graduation. Or is there the least bit of sense in what I’m saying? Is it bad that I think of aging in such a negative light and that the inevitable crash and burn of my dreams is just waiting to happen?
Don’t even get me started on what is an “acceptable” lifestyle for mature adults. We all know it’s coming, we’re going to settle down in the ‘burbs, have our 3 children, adopt a dog (okay, maybe not the dog), park our cars in our two car garages, go to work at our high paying jobs. Shit like that. You know what freaks me the fuck out? Houses that are the same model all over streets and blocks (wait this is the suburbs, there are no blocks, just weird winding roads and courts). It’s such a mindfuck when you walk into one house, then another one…AND IT’S THE EXACT SAME THING.
Just kidding. I’m way too idealistic to ever let this happen. I have really scary visions of the future, though.
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